We get married and I start using drugs again. At first you don’t notice, I snort, no needles, you don’t notice. I only do it when you’re not around, I have my secret stash that you don’t know about. I spend my days high and you come home while I’m sleeping it off. I always sleep a lot so you don’t suspect anything.
You start working late. Very late. I start using more. Snorting is not enough, I start shooting it up, I can’t tell what I did most days, I only know you’re not there, not besides me, not fixing me up like you promised. You smell of a different cologne every day, I’m too high to suspect anything.
Then I see you. Through the car window, there you are. With a man. My heart starts beating faster than ever, I can’t believe my eyes. You come out of the car, straightening your skirt, pulling up your stockings. You check your lipstick on the side view mirror and walk to the door. I’m standing on the balcony railing.
You come in and find me. You scream. I look at you. I’m standing so close to the edge.